I now have an "offical" webiste...so move with me will you?
I'm going to www.maryblackbonnet.com
As soon as we figure it out.. i will import everything here.
thanks! MBB
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
the scars that remain
I am recovering slowly. At least to me slowly. The wreck really affected my heart and head in a way that ibuprophen cant' help.
I drove two places yesterday and the first time my body locked up and I got the worst migraine. The second time, my body locked up, I had the worst pressure behind my eyes. The second time i was driving us, the family, to the waterfall for an evening hike. mihigna said it was body memory. I hadn't even thought of that. I am well familiar with body memory, with my history. I guess I just never thought it would show up in something like this. I find myself wanting to edit my emotions regarding this experience, but stop myself, for myself.
The hike was a laborious effort for me. Mihigna said i was crazy for doing it. I thought the more I moved, the better I'd be. okay, the faster I'd be better. Mihigna said, "you have to deal with your pain the first 48 hours, then start returning to normal activity."
I need something, but I can't identify what that is.
Maybe it's too early, maybe I've ingested too much ibuprofen and not enough wakalyapi. maybe a walk will shake it off.....
I drove two places yesterday and the first time my body locked up and I got the worst migraine. The second time, my body locked up, I had the worst pressure behind my eyes. The second time i was driving us, the family, to the waterfall for an evening hike. mihigna said it was body memory. I hadn't even thought of that. I am well familiar with body memory, with my history. I guess I just never thought it would show up in something like this. I find myself wanting to edit my emotions regarding this experience, but stop myself, for myself.
The hike was a laborious effort for me. Mihigna said i was crazy for doing it. I thought the more I moved, the better I'd be. okay, the faster I'd be better. Mihigna said, "you have to deal with your pain the first 48 hours, then start returning to normal activity."
I need something, but I can't identify what that is.
Maybe it's too early, maybe I've ingested too much ibuprofen and not enough wakalyapi. maybe a walk will shake it off.....
Saturday, August 21, 2010
SO EFFING AMAZING!!!
So, I decided I was going to enter the juried art show this year; and went with my gut as to what photos to enter. I chose five, and two of them won awards!!!
WOO EFFING HOOO!!!!!
I'm sooo proud of myself!!!!!!!!
I entered fog and landscape, which I retitled, "Hanhepi waste" (good morning) and that won the Dooug Ballard memorial award!!
Then I entered Jump!
It was the pic of turtle I took at Merritt of her jumping; the sun is shining on her hair (very angel-esque) and her shadow is below her.
Seriously, I cannot stop smiling!! I'm soo freaking proud of myself.
Again, believe in yourself and amazing things will happen!!!!
I have more to say, but i'm going to go back to bed.
I'm sohappy sohappysohappy!!!!!
Rich saw them and said: "Now you can say you are an award winning photographer.
It just keep getting better!!!
WOO EFFING HOOO!!!!!
I'm sooo proud of myself!!!!!!!!
I entered fog and landscape, which I retitled, "Hanhepi waste" (good morning) and that won the Dooug Ballard memorial award!!
Then I entered Jump!
It was the pic of turtle I took at Merritt of her jumping; the sun is shining on her hair (very angel-esque) and her shadow is below her.
Seriously, I cannot stop smiling!! I'm soo freaking proud of myself.
Again, believe in yourself and amazing things will happen!!!!
I have more to say, but i'm going to go back to bed.
I'm sohappy sohappysohappy!!!!!
Rich saw them and said: "Now you can say you are an award winning photographer.
It just keep getting better!!!
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
a million miles an hour
I have that feeling again.
The butterfly on acid feeling.
Ick.
I feel extremely driven to generate some work. Paying work, work that makes my morning commute on a plane and me living out of a suitcase and sleeping in hotel.
Now, more than ever I am keenly aware that I have the talent and the ability to support myself with my art.
I have always been able to do that,(thank god) but pre-child, I just took a lackadaisical approach; I'd get a few jobs here and there, no rush, no worry.
Perhaps it feels different now, because I have a child and so I feel as if I have been removed from the art world for the last two years; and it's time for me to emerge from that black hole.
Maybe its because I'm in this art no mans land, and I'm desperate to be back among my own kind. I just know it's an uncomfortable feeling and one I either need to fix, (hence, get the hell out of dodge as soon as possible) or find a way to make peace with, hence get gigs all over and travel again, which is really what I LOVE.
No matter what, I need to get on the ball and
*get my poetry book published,
*finish the book on wakaneja
*find a publisher for my lakota children's' stories
*find a publisher for my coffee table photo book.
*get some contacts who will be all over my ass in NY; for either my writing or my photography, or ideally, BOTH.
The one thing I have seen these last two years is, there is a lot of stuff out there, some of it good and some of it, not so good. But I know how amazing my work is, and I have just got to figure out how to get it into the hands of the people who will see and push it. I can't afford to be lackadaisical anymore.
It feels good to still have this many irons in the fire, but I would like a bit more fluidity to it as well.
I am not making any sense right now, because my brain wont' stop firing.
The butterfly on acid feeling.
Ick.
I feel extremely driven to generate some work. Paying work, work that makes my morning commute on a plane and me living out of a suitcase and sleeping in hotel.
Now, more than ever I am keenly aware that I have the talent and the ability to support myself with my art.
I have always been able to do that,(thank god) but pre-child, I just took a lackadaisical approach; I'd get a few jobs here and there, no rush, no worry.
Perhaps it feels different now, because I have a child and so I feel as if I have been removed from the art world for the last two years; and it's time for me to emerge from that black hole.
Maybe its because I'm in this art no mans land, and I'm desperate to be back among my own kind. I just know it's an uncomfortable feeling and one I either need to fix, (hence, get the hell out of dodge as soon as possible) or find a way to make peace with, hence get gigs all over and travel again, which is really what I LOVE.
No matter what, I need to get on the ball and
*get my poetry book published,
*finish the book on wakaneja
*find a publisher for my lakota children's' stories
*find a publisher for my coffee table photo book.
*get some contacts who will be all over my ass in NY; for either my writing or my photography, or ideally, BOTH.
The one thing I have seen these last two years is, there is a lot of stuff out there, some of it good and some of it, not so good. But I know how amazing my work is, and I have just got to figure out how to get it into the hands of the people who will see and push it. I can't afford to be lackadaisical anymore.
It feels good to still have this many irons in the fire, but I would like a bit more fluidity to it as well.
I am not making any sense right now, because my brain wont' stop firing.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Writers retreat
The WAN writers retreat was amazing. We started out with locals and then and by Sunday, we had two ladies join us from North Platte and one lady from Ainsworth! It was a great eclectic mix with everyone bringing their various levels of writing experience and life experiences to the table and that is what made the difference I think.
My workshop was a hit and the energy is the room was at a vibrant level, this stayed with us for much of the weekend.
I was so proud of all the participants, they absolutely trusted me and each other with their hearts, their vulnerabilities, and their writing. (Which I feel, are often all rolled in one.) There were a few who were in various stages of processing some grief and I'm glad they came, because they are now equipped with a tool to make that process easier.
There were really two things that came out at the retreat, and they were both things that tie humans together, no matter the gender. The one was grief and the other was realizing we dont take time for ourselves to nourish our souls enough. Granted the women talked of this mostly, as the men listened intently, thinking; "Oh crap, does that mean I have to do my own laundry and my own cooking?" (Ha Ha Bob and Dan!)
Speaking of men,there were only two in attendance for the whole workshop, old cowboys. But no need to worry about them, they were totally in their element, flanked on all sides by beautiful women!
It was so amazing because at the beginning, I don't think anyone had any intention of sharing their writing, but EVERYONE did. And that was the glue that bonded everyone together... even the words were spoken: "I thought I was the only one who felt this way."
And THAT is why I love writing, writing retreats and groups. Because you find out how UN alone you really are.
By Sunday we were all exhausted, because we had processed so much through our writing, that we were a bit draggy; but very happy.
I kept hearing people talking of how the retreat was healing, and that really touched me. That is not necessarily what I went in to do, but process took over what needed to happen, did.
The women and men I met as strangers at the start of the retreat walked away as friends and all now reside in my heart.
We have formed a writing group and we met for the first time yesterday.
But more on that, later.
My workshop was a hit and the energy is the room was at a vibrant level, this stayed with us for much of the weekend.
I was so proud of all the participants, they absolutely trusted me and each other with their hearts, their vulnerabilities, and their writing. (Which I feel, are often all rolled in one.) There were a few who were in various stages of processing some grief and I'm glad they came, because they are now equipped with a tool to make that process easier.
There were really two things that came out at the retreat, and they were both things that tie humans together, no matter the gender. The one was grief and the other was realizing we dont take time for ourselves to nourish our souls enough. Granted the women talked of this mostly, as the men listened intently, thinking; "Oh crap, does that mean I have to do my own laundry and my own cooking?" (Ha Ha Bob and Dan!)
Speaking of men,there were only two in attendance for the whole workshop, old cowboys. But no need to worry about them, they were totally in their element, flanked on all sides by beautiful women!
It was so amazing because at the beginning, I don't think anyone had any intention of sharing their writing, but EVERYONE did. And that was the glue that bonded everyone together... even the words were spoken: "I thought I was the only one who felt this way."
And THAT is why I love writing, writing retreats and groups. Because you find out how UN alone you really are.
By Sunday we were all exhausted, because we had processed so much through our writing, that we were a bit draggy; but very happy.
I kept hearing people talking of how the retreat was healing, and that really touched me. That is not necessarily what I went in to do, but process took over what needed to happen, did.
The women and men I met as strangers at the start of the retreat walked away as friends and all now reside in my heart.
We have formed a writing group and we met for the first time yesterday.
But more on that, later.
Friday, July 23, 2010
My new post!!
Monday, July 19, 2010
notes to self
Wow, wow, wow.
I am so refreshed and rejuvinated and so much clearer, following this weekend.
That writing workshop, (it was really a retreat)was so incredible! My workshop went fabulously, my readings were amazing, and the whole experience was healing and inspirational for everyone there. I should have had my books to sell, but I didn't, so I know now, that needs to be remedied.
There is so much to say about it, but I'm not sure I can right now, I have returned home, put the turtle to bed, cleaned my kitchen and been talking with Mihigna about our 7 directions wellness business. I need to just stop and breathe and organize my thoughts.
I am so refreshed and rejuvinated and so much clearer, following this weekend.
That writing workshop, (it was really a retreat)was so incredible! My workshop went fabulously, my readings were amazing, and the whole experience was healing and inspirational for everyone there. I should have had my books to sell, but I didn't, so I know now, that needs to be remedied.
There is so much to say about it, but I'm not sure I can right now, I have returned home, put the turtle to bed, cleaned my kitchen and been talking with Mihigna about our 7 directions wellness business. I need to just stop and breathe and organize my thoughts.
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